All fist, she methodically traces the outer rim and beyond of her lips. I hope this is not indicative of how she portrays my make-up applying abilities. Nonetheless, we have some lessons to learn in the future about how it’s done. And Ronald McDonald will only be brought up as a contrast. Unlike today.

“Go make your bed,” I said to her. This may seem a large order for a preschooler but as the youngest of three, all chores are a privilege. It declares that she too, is big stuff.

I hear her in there straining and shuffling the sheets.
“I’m so mad! It’s not working!”

“You want me to come help you?”

“No!” Right, of course not. And watch the attitude Miss Two-Feet-Tall-Clown-Lips.

“Ugh! It’s just not working. And God‘s not even giving us snow!”

Oh, now she’s lumping. This I know came from me.

“It was a horrible day,” I say through sniffles and gritted teeth. “I couldn’t get a shower, the kids clawed their way around chores, and all of them were talking to me at the same time. Whoever said that days off from school should be called Fall Break is a slanderer and an adulterer of the truth! It is NOT. A. BREAK! And I hate my cell phone. I’m going to take it to Verizon so I can chuck it at the idiot who sold it to me.”

Lumping. May cause emotional whiplash and confusion. Also known as pouting.

We got the sheets fixed, everyone goes back to school this week, and there were no severe casualties from either. However, the verdict is still out on Mr. Verizon.